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My Birthday

So. Today is my 21st birthday. I got NO alcohol xD Oh well. Chelsea got me my Hermes Moon <33333333 And my mom, grandpa, sister and uncle all got me cards. The one that my sister got me, it touched me the most.

She's the one you've known forever. The one you go to for honest advice and genuine support. The one who accepts your quirky little habits and understands you in a way few others can.

She's the one you can call at any hour---to laugh or cry or complain...The one whose voice has been there all along, sharing secrets and dreams and singing your song when you needed to hear it most.

She's the one who can read your mind, hear your heart, and love you just the way you are. She's your lifelong friend, but so much more.

She's your sister.

Happy birthday, to my sister, my best friend.



Anime Boston


Guests that I HAVE to meet:

Greg Ayres
Monica Rial
Aaron Dismuke


I'm going as Marluxia <3

The Most Romantic

Chelsea: As much as your friends who hate me don't want to acknowledge it, I am still a very immature seventeen year old with issues of her own. I probably shouldn't even spend my time talking or being in love with you but I am.
Chelsea: and I do want to help.
Chelsea: Despite the obvious useless factor.
Me: That's what I'm afraid of.
Chelsea: ?
Me: That RIGHT there.
Chelsea: Tell me.
Me: You're starting to realize "Hey, i'm still young"
Chelsea: But I'm not going to leave you.
Me: You -might- and that's why I freak out.
Chelsea: I realized I'm fucking young from the beginning.
Chelsea: I hate to say this but I've realized this may as well be pure shit but I'm staying with you. Fuck it.
Me: Last night I drempt you found someone else...someone bett------What?
Chelsea: You. I'm staying with you. I've realized that I'm young and blah blah shit like that but I don't really care.
Chelsea: I know the realities but if I can, I would like to stay with you forever.
Me: -Possibly...stunned speechless.-
Chelsea: I know it's a battle up shit crap. I know we may actually never get to hold hands but fuck. I want to stay with you.
Chelsea: What part of that don't any of you understand?
Chelsea: I know I'm immature. I know I shouldn't be making decisions like this. I know there's a bunch of more intelligent individuals stating that I'll get divorced within the first years of anything. But I will make this work.
Me: I...I don't wanna sound stupid asking this...but why...Why would you give up your future for me?  I'm so thrilled that you would, but it...-why-?
Chelsea: Giving up my future? What? I'm not giving up my future. I'm making a new one with you. Viewing it as 'giving up my future ololol' is pure shit. It is like my dear mother said when I quit school to take care her, 'you're giving up your futuuureee~~ >;' . Fuck no, I want to help her and I'll still do my goddamn work and get a goddamn degree. And with you, I'll still be working hard at the damn job I want and everything else but I want to be near you.
Chelsea: Also, simple answer: I love you. May seem cheesy, may even sound absurd and completely like it's coming out of a monkey's ass but I do.
Me: ...You've change so much.
Chelsea: Also: to continue the thought I lost back at those posts --- it's really on an emotional level too. Blah, blah, gender doesn't count and so forth and so on. So even though I'm behind a computer screen I will still care about you and such even if placing our hands on the computer screen while on some video camera is the closest we get to holding hands.



Would you miss me if I was gone?
Would you still play my favorite song?
Would you cry and say "I miss you"?
Would you try to deal with this issue?

Would you care if I cut my wrist?
Would you care if I was all alone?
Would you wonder if I was allright?
Would you think that I'd put up a fight?

Weak as a new born babe,
Broken like a china doll.
Eyes overflowing with crystaline tears.
Heart torn open by a pair of shears.

If I had to regret just one thing...
It's that I was never really good enough for you.
So, don't cry now that I'm gone.
You're better off this way.

Would you miss me if I was gone?
Would you still play my favorite song?
Would you cry and say "I love you"?
Would you wish...I'd never met you?


Come to me.

Be with me.

Hold me.

Feel me.

Touch me.

Kiss me.

Make me cry.

Embrace me.

Tell me it's okay.

Make love to me.


Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. I'm in love, and I feel like she is, so, is there any possible way that this feeling could be wrong?  I hope not, because I don't want to end up hurting again.  I want to continue to feel safe and cared for.  I want her to know that I love her, and always will, even if I'm sometimes stupid and say things that hurt her.  I want her to know that no matter the things I say and do, that I love her with all my heart.  I know that I'm stupid, and I know that I've done things in the past that I should regret, but, the only decision that I ever made, the only one that I don't ever regret, is asking for her to be with me.  For chosing her.  For asking her to marry me.  She's the only right decision I've ever made....And I want her to know that.



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April 2008


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